If Only Tears Could Bring You Back
by Bria
Summary: Obi-Wan must deal with the loss of Amidala while he figures out the future. This is totally non-love triangle. Songfic to If Only Tears Could Bring You Back by the Midnight Sons.


If Only Tears Could Bring You Back This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money. 

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I also must deny permission for this to be posted on any pages that are listed with the "fans.starwars.com" url. I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) You can find my website at the following location: http://fly.to/brias/ 

Song-fic to "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back" by Midnight Sons. I am not them or their recording company. :D 

Dedicated to Lini. Happy 18th Birthday to my Canadian sister. :)   


**If Only Tears Could Bring You Back**   
**By Bria**   
**Saturday, May 19, 2001**   
**** ****

Obi-Wan Kenobi awoke with a start, his heart beating an urgent tattoo. He raced towards Amidala's room. Something was wrong, he could feel it. She was always the first to arise, so that she could feed the twins early each morning. He knocked on the door, but when there was no reply, he pushed the door open and rushed inside.   


_How will I start_   
_Tomorrow without you here_   
_Who's heart will guide me_   
_When all the answers disappear_   
__ __

Obi-Wan knew what had happened the moment he laid eyes on her. All the heartache and depression had taken its toll on the still young woman. Amidala's arms were outstretched, and it looked as if she was reaching for someone. Her eyes were closed, and her skin was deathly pale. "NO!!! Ami!!!" He rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms.   


_Is it too late_   
_Are you too far gone to stay_   
_This one's forever_   
_Should never have to go away_   
__ __

"Please, Ami, please," Obi-Wan pleaded, He checked her pulse, hoping against hope that he could save her. It was too late though. 

Why hadn't he _felt _Amidala's death? He had only felt her absense in the Force after she was already gone. It didn't make sense. They were so close, especially after Anakin had turned. They were like brother and sister. He glanced over at the crib, where Luke and Leia slept peacefully, unaware that they were now orphans, without either a father or a mother. "I failed you, Ami..." He was unable to say any more as the tears started to flow.

_What will I do_   
_You know I'm only half without you_   
_How will I make it through_   
__ __

"Why, Ami, why?" He asked, once he got his breath back. "We promised each other we would be there for one another, as well as for the twins. Why'd you leave us, Ami?" 

Even as Obi-Wan asked these questions, he already knew the answer. Amidala had done her best to get on with her life, but it was evident to all who knew her that she was still deeply in love with Anakin and would always be. She'd once explained to him that she felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest while she was still alive. He hadn't been able to reply to that, because as great as his pain was, he could not relate to the lose of a spouse. 

After Anakin had turned to the Dark Side, Amidala and Obi-Wan had helped each other deal with the loss of their husband and former Padawan. They would've gone their separate ways, but once Amidala had discovered she was pregnant with twins, he'd decided that he would stay with her to protect her, in case Anakin found out about the pregnancy. In his new state of mind, the twins could be a tool for him, and the two of them had agreed that was something they could not allow to happen.   


  


_If only tears could bring you back to me_   
_If only love could find a way_   
_What I would do, what I would give_   
_If you returned to me someday_   
_Somehow, someway_   
_If my tears could bring you back to me_   
__ __

Obi-Wan snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the twins start to cry. Although they were only infants, they were both strong in the Force, and had picked up on his distress and the sense that their mother was no longer there to comfort them. At that moment, he would've given anything to have Amidala back in that room. 

He went over to the crib and picked up Leia, the louder of the two. "Shhh... hush, sweet Leia. I feel the same way." Obi-Wan whispered to her as he rocked her in his arms. She continued to cry, and he sighed. He never felt very knowledgeable around infants. 

Sabé was though. He might as well go tell her the news. He was not looking forward to that in the least. 

Obi-Wan set Leia down in the crib and leaned over to whisper to the twins. "I'll be right back you two, don't worry."   


_I'd cry you an ocean_   
_If you'd sail on home again_   
_Wings of emotion_   
_Will carry you, I know they can_   
__ __

Obi-Wan walked towards Sabé's room, dread slowing his step. There was nothing he'd ever wanted to do less, then tell Amidala's best friend that the former Queen was dead. He'd have gladly have traded places with Amidala, so that she would be alive, and himself be gone. He dried his eyes and took several deep breaths. He had to calm himself because she would need him to be strong for her, once she heard the news. Once he felt ready, he knocked lightly on the door. 

Obi-Wan heard some noises from inside, and then the door opened. "Does Ami need help with the twins?" She asked, covering a yawn. Ami had recently requested that she not help with the twins unless specifically asked. 

"No," he replied. "I need to talk to you. Let's go sit down somewhere." 

Sabé studied Obi-Wan carefully and then motioned him to follow her into her room and out onto the balcony. "I don't like the sounds of this," she said, as looked him in the eyes. "I don't like it at all." 

"I don't like it either," he began. "If I could do anything about it, I would, but some things are beyond the realm of possibility... even for a Jedi." 

Sabé's heart sank, and somehow she knew. "It's Ami, isn't it?" she asked, though she already knew the answer. "She's gone." 

Obi-Wan nodded in sad acknowledgment. "Yes, you cannot know how sorry I am." He watched Sabé, Amidala's best friend, who had been a rock at the former Queen's side any time she was needed. She had never faltered, never even cried. 

She cried now. He watched in distress as tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Feeling awkward, but needing to provide comfort, he wrapped his arms around the woman and rocked her gently as she cried for a long time.   


  


_Just light will guide you_   
_And your heart will chart the course_   
_Soon you'll be drifting_   
_Into the arms of your true north_   
__ __

Sabé cried until her tears ran dry. She remained in his arms for a few moments, collecting her thoughts. "Thank you, Obi-Wan. I need that." Sabé said, as she stepped out of his arms. 

He patted her shoulder. "No need to thank me, Sabé." 

She turned to him briefly as she headed back inside. "I should probably go check on the twins now." 

Obi-Wan nodded. "While you do that, I'll contact Bail Organa to make the funeral arangements." 

She swallowed, and he could see tears in her eyes once again. 

"Sabé, one more thing," he began. 

"Yes?" she asked, choking back a sob. 

"As great as our loss is, remember that Ami is free now. She is home with the Force. She'll never again feel pain or heartache and Anakin can no longer hurt her. That thought provides me with some comfort." Obi-Wan kissed her on the forehead quickly, as a gesture of comfort, and strode inside before Sabé could see the tears that had once again formed in his eyes.   


  


_Look in my eyes_   
_And you will see a million tears have gone by_   
_And still they're not dry_   
__ __

A half an hour later, Obi-Wan ended his communication with Bail Organa with a heavy heart. He had sensed the immense destress from the Viceroy of Alderaan. There had been a time when he'd be a suitor of the Queen's, but after she had choosen Anakin, Bail had remained a steadfast friend. The news had hit the man hard. 

When he'd asked him, the Viceroy had offered to adopt Luke and Leia. They could grow up together, as the official heirs to the Alderaanian throne. His wife would be thrilled to welcome the twins, since they were unable to have children of their own. 

Tears started to flow once again. Just as he had failed Ami, he'd failed the twins. They deserved to grow up together, but because of his mistake with their father, they would have to be seperated and hidden. This was a pain he would have to live with for the rest of his life. Bail and his wife would take Leia, and Obi-Wan would find another home for Luke.   


  


_If only tears could bring you back to me_   
_If only love could find a way_   
_What I would do, what I would give_   
_If you returned to me someday_   
_Somehow, someway_   
_If my tears could bring you back to me_   
__ __

Even a week after Ami's death, Obi-Wan still felt an immense sadness within himself. He had traveled with Sabé and the twins from their hideaway on Alderaan back to Naboo, so the planet could grieve for it's lost Queen. Her body had laid in state for a week, so that every Naboo was able to pay their respects to the greatest ruler their planet had ever known. 

Afterwards, there was a private ceremony for Amidala's family and friends. It was beautiful, but in a heartwrenching way. By the time the ceremony was over, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

_I hold you close_   
_And shout the words I only whispered before_   
_For one more chance, for one last dance_   
_There's nothing that I would not give and more_   
__ __

Obi-wan stared at the burning pyre in front of him. "Oh, Ami," he whispered. "A wise man once said that there is no greater love than one who would lay down their life for another. I couldn't tell you this in life, but I want you to know, that I love you. I will always love you. I would've given my life for you. I'm sorry I never told you that. In truth, you were like the sister I never had. I'll never forget you, Ami. Ever. Every day, for the rest of my life, I will think of you."   


_If only tears could bring you back to me_   
_If only love could find a way_   
_What I would do, what I would give_   
_If you returned to me someday_   
_Somehow, someway_   
_If my tears could bring you back to me_   
__ __

Obi-Wan stayed until the embers died down, and their glow burned out. "Dear, sweet, Ami, rest well now. You deserve it. And I promise you, I will do everything in my power to protect your children. They are all I have left of you." With that, Obi-Wan turned and returned to the Theed palace with Sabé. 

"What now, Knight Kenobi?" Sabé asked, with sadness in her eyes. 

"I'm taking Luke and Leia." It's too dangerous and obvious for them to remain on Naboo. And while it would be my honor to care for them, I cannot. With so few Jedi left, the hunt is on to exterminate the rest. If I am discovered, it would mean the end for the twins if they were with me. At the same time, they can't stay together, for if they were discovered, it would be the same. I must separate them. Bail Organa has pledged to raise Leia as his own daughter, and well, my brother and his wife on Tatooine are unable to have children, and have agreed to raise Luke as their own. 

Sabé nodded. She didn't like it, but she knew Obi-Wan was right. "What will you do?" 

Obi-Wan sighed. "I will live on Tatooine as well. Perhaps when Luke is old enough, he can be the one to bring Anakin back. There is still good in him, I have felt it... maybe Luke will succeed where I failed." 

Sabé went over to the crib where Luke and Leia slept peacefully. She picked up each child, and kissed them on the cheek. They were all that was left of her Queen, her best friend. "Goodbye, little ones. I love you, just as I loved your mother." 

Obi-Wan went over to Sabé, kissed her on the forehead gently, and took the twins from her. "Goodbye, Sabé." 

She looked at Obi-Wan one final time, tears glistening in her eyes. "Goodbye, Obi-Wan, may the Force be with you." 

He returned her farewell with a determined nod. "May the Force be with us all." 

THE END   


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